Our first (and possibly last) Malawian wedding!

Last weekend, Jon and I put on our relatively-dapper duds and went to a wedding of two people who met while both working at the clinic. Since neither Jon nor I had been to a wedding in Malawi, and our time is growing shorter, we knew that we could not miss this one.

We had heard a lot about Malawian weddings from our friends and workmates. Usually, there is a church ceremony (frequently attended by close friends and family) and then a separate reception (attended by everyone else – or most people). Weddings are huge and everyone you can think to invite is invited. They are also, in large part, a way for a new couple to get funds for their home as most folks here live with their families until they get married. This is not a cohabitating before marriage kind of culture!

For this wedding, we skipped the ceremony like everyone else and went straight to the afternoon reception. The place was packed with 300-400 people all sitting in neat rows of plastic chairs aimed at the stage. People were dressed in everything from jeans and t-shirts to cut-off jean shorts to your old 1988 strapless, taffeta prom dress. The newlyweds stood in front of the crowd while the bridal party sat behind them dressed in gold and white. The DJ blared music while an MC led the crowd in praising the new couple, individually and together (all in Chichewa, but this is what my friend told me). No food or drink was available (and we came 3 hours after the reception began), but there was a cake on display. I hear they gave out drinks and refreshments at the end (but we, thankfully) did not stay.

As the main purpose of the party is to give the couple money, you can understand why weddings are so large: it is a clear example of what goes around comes around. Pretty nice, really. The fundraising emphasis of the wedding is so engrained in the culture that there is a major wedding role for someone to change your bigger notes (500 Kwatcha = ~$2.75) into smaller bills (20 = ~$0.10). To dance, you pay! So, smaller bills helps everyone participate more actively in the wedding. The DJ calls groups up from the neighborhood or from church or form work or wearing green or whatever. When your group is called, you dance with the couple, showering them with bills (throwing heavy coins is discouraged). At regular intervals, someone sweeps the bills off the floor into a basket and drops them off at the changing money pile. Repeat. Repeat again.

There are also “special dances” where the DJ will call out a number, like 2000 Kwatcha ($11). If you want to give the couple this, you walk up the aisle with everyone staring at you and hand them the cash – hopefully making it look like more money as you give them all small bills. If no one wants to give that much, or if all the givers are finished, the DJ decreases the amount and the process continues….and continues…and continues. We actually gave them 2000, but we put it in an envelope and handed it to them during the “office dance” callout, not following protocol. Of course, we got plenty of attention anyway as the guy with the video was taking only us (affirmed by the Director who noted that he watched us dancing for an hour in the video).

All in all, we had a pretty fun time. We even cashed in some more “big” bills to join in the fun longer and dance with our friends, likely giving the wedding couple a whopping $15 over the course of the hour we spent there. That makes us big spenders! You can bet this will not be our last wedding invitation (but I would not be too sad to decline in the future).