The down side of security

I am trapped, literally, inside my compound. Electric fences, guards, and a locked gate are very secure -- so secure in fact that I can not get out. It seems that the day guard left with the gate key. Perhaps an indication of: 1) a not-so-stellar list of hand-over procedures between day and night guards; 2) the clear necessity for a second gate key; 3) time to make a back-up escape plan.

So, as I type, the guard company is trying to track down the day guard who (hopefully) has the key. Of course, the guard in question has no cell phone and described his home location on the guard job application as something like, "around the bend in the dirt road near the church opposite the bottle store in a neighborhood far far away." When I asked the guard company how they did the background check on a man with no phone and no known address he replied, "Madam, we know his sister's number and his friend is also a guard." Oh, I feel better now.

Another of the night guards is just about to Spider Man his way out of here and lead the guard response team on a mission to recover my key and spring us. I wonder how long this "top priority" mission will take?

So, I sit here in my house, waiting to be released so that I can see the World Cup final. If not, I will listen to the BBC and enjoy the story of this night. The World Cup in Africa, and amusing moments like this, are priceless.

Enjoy your freedom.


[UPDATE: Have ax? Will break out! 2+ hours inside the Big House, and they cut off the lock. The head honcho of the guard company was here, spewing some vitriol at my guards in Chichewa. I couldn't understand it, but I don't think it was nice. I did, however, save their jobs, and noted that everyone makes one mistake. I hope that bought me some serious guard capital and should make them that much more likely, I hope, to do their jobs well. 2+ hours of captivity in exchange for my guard's gratitude was worth it. Off (and out) to watch the finals. Go Spain!]