Our first............................felony????

According to the new, proposed Local Courts Bill under review in Malawi’s Parliament, public flatulence (aka: farting) will be an offense punishable by a minimum of 6-months in jail. Now, although this will make 12-year-old boys (and, honestly, most of us) giggle, the passage of natural bodily gas is no laughing matter around this house. Between the parasites, the amoebas, the schistosomiasis, the cabbage and beans, we are truly at risk of being accused, and convicted, at any time. Our risk of confinement aside, the article in the Nyasa Times is hysterical, and hysterically written. You really should check out the comments at the end.

And, if that is not enough, other “crimes” that would now carry a mandatory jail term include:

“Pretending to tell fortunes”

“Insulting the modesty of a woman”

“Carrying offensive weapons without lawful authority or reasonable excuse”

“Challenging to fight a duel”

“Dealing in poisonous substances in negligent manner”

Public response is mixed. "'How can this government criminalise the release of intestinal gases …. Everyone does that, even if it’s in public or it has an accompanying sound which is boring, making it criminal is a joke of democracy.' Another said he, 'support(s) the bill and is welcome. Sometimes breaking wind in public or during meetings is a disturbance of the peace.'"

Alternative uses for your antiretrovirals...

So, we all know that antiretrovirals (ARVs) help people living with AIDS live longer, more healthful lives, and that these life-saving drugs are becoming more readily available all over sub-Saharan Africa. In Malawi, of the approximately 1 million infected, over 200,000 people started ARVs since 2004-- a pretty amazing feat! Still, with the increase in access to these drugs, and their low or no cost to those in need, come some surprising downsides.

Two alternative, and highly discouraged, uses of ARVs have been circulating around work recently:

1. Ever wonder how those bony chickens in the markets have such large breasts? Seems that some individuals might be feeding their poultry ARVs with the hopes of giving them the same fatty deposits that some people get as a side effect of the HIV drugs, called lipodystrophy. Lipodystrophy typically causes fat loss in the arms, legs, and face while creating fatty deposits on the breasts, stomach or back of the neck. Sadly, you can see how some folks might think that these drugs would act like steroids for poultry.

2. And, for those who are fed up with being high on life, it seems that ARVs can be used to just get high. In South Africa, ARVs are purportedly being used to lace a marijuana-based drug popular with the 'tweens and club scene. Seems that some people in South Africa are being robbed of their ARVs by gangs who can use the drugs in their more potent cocktails.

Anyone else heard some other amusing tales of ARV abuse??

From game viewing to game eating: Namibia, part 2

From the wilds of Etosha, and camping in a hot tent, Jon and I moved on to visit my UNC roommate, Karie, at her partner (Byron) at the game reserve where he is the hunter-in-chief. Having passed the test of both Ganja the dog and Musket the extra-fat cat, we settled down for hours of delicious coffee, conversation, and homemade bread in their cozy garden. After some gender-segregated afternoon activities (Jon headed off with Byron to feed the resident sable antelopes, while Karie and I took a much-needed girltime walk around the ranch), we all gathered around for an evening braii (BBQ) of tofu sausages for 2; enough meat for 12 (but it was also just for 2); garlic bread, salad, and stuffed squash. Scrumptious!

In the morning, Byron took Jon off in the helicopter to deliver a package to the neighbor – flying over an enormous herd of eland and various other animals (I was not saddened to be left out of the 2-seater craft). Then, all back on the ground, we headed off for a great day of sightseeing in the central north: the petrified forest with the welwitschia plants, a picnic near the sinkhole, Twyfelfontein’s 6,000-year-old rock art, and the rocks of the Organ Pipes. After a whirlwind 36 hours, we went our separate ways at the fork in the road – they headed back to the farm, and we headed off to Brandenberg. Thanks Byron and Karie!

Jon and I headed to Uis for the night, a mining ghost town we expected to be just a place to rest. But, the Brandenberg Rest Camp http://www.brandbergrestcamp.com/ was arguably our favorite place to stay! There, our new friends Bazel, Monti, and Joe introduced us to the Duppa – a snuff device aimed at facilitating the pathway of peachy mint snuff straight to the brain. Having a large man with a hammer ask you to put your nose on a hook next to gray powder is slightly unsettling, but Jon and I both like to “do as they locals do”. After passing the Duppa test, we settled down for some beers with the locals. Our best night! If even in Uis, you must all stay there.

From there, to the dunes and seaside town of Swakopmund! The town itself feels very European (and slightly boring), and we stayed in a lovely place, Alternate Space, full of naked images of the guesthouse’s owner. While there, Jon enjoyed one of his “top 10 meals of all time” at Lighthouse Restaurant – Kabeljou mariscal, fresh caught calamari, and their B1 chocolate cake with its molten caramel center – while I found a Thai-ish restaurant to have some vegetarian dumplings. The highlight of the stop was a desert tour from Tommy Tours – a half-day excursion into the dunes (with 24 other people) to learn more about the critters and sand formations. The guides and drivers were excellent, and we all enjoyed the chameleons, snakes, and lizards of the sand.

In the afternoon, we walked through the depressing graveyard – noting the beautiful German section; the small, but well-kept Jewish section; the trash-laden black section with no trees or headstones; and the mass graves of the Herero people from a 1904 massacre. Although it is easy for tourists to ignore in general, the cemetery was a rude reminder of the legacy of Apartheid in Namibia.

Then, after a provision stock up for pretzels at Traff Café and some groceries at Spar, we headed off for the dunes of Sossusvlei…

Pretty as a picture....

No, not us. In fact, when I post my photos to my Picasa site, Jon and I (and most people that we know) are absent. I usually like to post my travel snaps on the blog with the stories behind them and my favorite photos on my photo web page. So, to save myself from uploading 70 photos to this site, I'll just link to my Picasa album, and you can check out my favorite shots of Namibia.

I sure did love taking them (and the 1000+ that did not make the cut). Enjoy!

Eating: Jon and Caryl style

Before Jon opines on the wonders of Namibia over the weekend, and before I continue to extol its virtues, I will just share one photo that sums up the differences in our Namibia experience: check out our plates! This was at Joe's, Windhoek's "game" food restaurant.

I am not sure if the photo is more demonstrative of how much I must like Jon if I was willing to eat my final Namibia meal here or how much he just loves meat. Poor little zebras. Hmmmm....

Namibia - it's not called "Africa Light!" for nothing!

Fewer than 24 hours back home in Malawi, and I already miss the surreal serenity of vacationing in Namibia. More to come in the next week, including lots of amusing stories and photos. However, in the mean time, I’ll share some photos and thoughts of what I already miss:

1. Soft, chewy, salty pretzels with seedy mustard

2. Clean streets with sidewalks and street signs

3. Major roads and highways with picnic areas complete with tables, chairs, shade and trash cans!

4. Drinking clean water straight from the tap

5. Eating salads at every meal – whether from our borrowed cooler or at any small café

6. Spending time with good friends

7. Fully stocked grocery stores with organic foods, veggie products, and delicious baked goods

8. Using credit cards so as to NOT carry around bags full of cash

9. Wide open spaces with stunning vistas of deserts and mountains

10. Not working!

To be fair, and to prevent the onset of depression, I am happy to return to:

1. The vibrant green of Malawi in the rainy season

2. Puppies: One with a chewed ear, but both are fine and thrilled to see us

3. Our own bed, off the ground and away from scorpions and sand

4. Fans for the heat (unlike our scotching tent)

5. Cooking on a real, not camp, stove!

6. Showering without shoes

7. The cacophony of bird songs that greet us every morning here

8. Music/BBC – Jon and I had to rely on Namibian radio for our trip – an amusing disaster

9. The stimulating chaos of Lilongwe and having people around

10. Home sweet home, safe and sound