On buying, and driving, an SUV…

Well, I did it. I am a little embarrassed, but I am now the reluctant owner of a Toyota Rav4 – the McDonald's of Malawi cars. The owner actually never signed it over to me, so I took things into my own hands and faked the transfer of ownership, her signature, and the bill of sale. Four trips to the Malawi Department of Motor Vehicles (each time getting a different, “last” form); three trips to the insurance (one to purchase, another for a sticker, another for the correct sticker); one certificate of fitness (pay a man on the side of the road to eyeball your vehicle); and one trip to buy and install plates. Voila! The car is mine. Five doors, 1997, automatic, CD player, working AC, radio to 88fm (Japan’s highest FM bandwidth), and glistening white – just like its conspicuous owner. I have no idea how many “real” kilometers it has on it – the dealers and importers around here are notorious for rolling back the odometers – but it has 45,000 km on the dial. It seems in pretty good shape, and it should withstand an impact (important in the context of Malawi driving).

As for driving in Malawi, it is a nightmare. As many of you know, I already hate to drive, and this place will not alter that reality. There are road rules: you are supposed to drive on the left side; you are supposed to stop at red lights; you are supposed to have working headlights; you are supposed to know how to drive in a traffic circle; you are supposed to have a license. In actuality, these things are optional.

Here are my lessons from my first weeks on the road:
1. Never go through a green light without slowing. As a corollary: always wait a good 5 seconds when starting after red lights turn to green. Lights are new here, and no one seems to pay attention. Cars regularly just drive on through even in “rush hour.” Most lights don’t work anyway. Note the photo of the major downtown intersection with broken lights!
2. Never stop at traffic lights at night. Slow and go.
3. Never drive on weekends (or weeknights) after midnight (or really, after dark). A friend of mine here regularly goes out on Saturday or Sunday mornings to add to her collection of photos of cars that crash landed in the middle of the roundabouts. Drunk driving appears the rule not the exception.
4. Cars might rule the roads, but you must share with people, goats, bicycles, wheelchairs, dogs, hyenas (even in the “city”), and dozens of other obstacles. Cars are still relatively new as are paved roads. Everyone and everything wants to be on them, but no one is really very driving or car savvy. Check out the photo from a local Lilongwe road.
5. Potholes can swallow your car and people will drive on sidewalks or on the wrong side of the road to avoid them.

6. You should drive on the left. People overtaking on blind curves or 2 lane streets seem to forget this. Not fun.

7. No streetlights make for dark driving. No street names make for confusion. Everyone driving with their brights on all the time makes for blindness. Add to the mix trucks that are driven without headlights, and you have disasters.

And those are enough reasons to explain my road-induced paranoia. I am happy to have 5 seat belts, airbags, and exist in a constant state of hyper vigilance. Mixed with some skill and luck, I anticipate being just fine here. So, I’ll suffer your SUV slurs and feel just a little bit safe. Don’t worry: I regret it every time I fill my tank for $80…

Ps: I can’t wait for Jon to get here so that he can drive and I can just ride along nervously clutching the dash and using my “air brake”